The God of All Comfort–Really by Anna Wood

2 Corinthians 1: 3, 4, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

The God of all comfort. I like that definition of God. It speaks volumes of His mercy, something that a lot of church folks fail to speak of at all. For some it’s because they realize God’s love has long been predefined and over-extended (at least by us) and they are trying to make things right–theologically speaking. Those folks I applaud for they often do want to please God and usually come to see the need of speaking of His mercy too. Once they do, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s the rest of the Christians who fail to speak of God’s mercy that I’m concerned about.

These other folks often fail to speak of God’s mercy because they themselves aren’t merciful and don’t want to be. It’s easier to follow the letter of the law than try to dig down deep and understand the meaning behind it. So they do that and along the way they make up dozens of different laws to enforce the first one, crushing many along the way.

Many of the ones they crush are those who have already been cruelly crushed by others: the abused.

Abuse victims don’t need a lop-sided view of God any more than any one else does. No one ever benefits from failing to understand the full range of God’s attributes. God is all love and nothing but is a spirit killer just as much as God is all wrath and nothing else; neither is true and both fail to introduce us to the real God. The abused understand wrath. They understand anger. They have little or no understanding of love, mercy and peace, however. If they don’t hear that God is a God of comfort, love, mercy, kindness Who is trustworthy and unchanging–in context of the full range of God’s attributes–they will never come to understand God.

 

When A Woman Is Abused by Anna Wood

(Statistics tell us that one in three women are abused. That means that if you yourself are not abused then surely you know someone who is.)

If a Christian woman is abused by her husband, whether the abuse is emotional, physical, spiritual or sexual, it isn’t because

she didn’t submit enough,

she hasn’t tried hard enough,

she didn’t love him enough,

she didn’t spend enough time in prayer for her husband

and for their marriage,

that she didn’t study the Word

or didn’t believe the Word

or didn’t try to obey the Word with everything within her.

 

If she gets to the point where she is thinking about separating from her husband, or even divorcing him, after many hours of prayer and many hours of Bible study and more tears than you could ever even begin to imagine, it doesn’t necessarily follow that

she never loved him,

she is a feminist,

that she wants to be separated or divorced,

that she doesn’t believe in biblical womanhood,

that she didn’t long for a traditional marriage,

that she didn’t try hard enough to be a good wife,

that she isn’t a good Christian.

 

If you should happen to meet a woman like this, you will probably think that she is

distant,

cold,

self-involved,

shy.

Most likely this is because she is

shattered,

broken,

alone

and confused.

 

If you have never walked in her steps, if you’ve never heard the words designed to destroy you coming from the mouth of the one who swore before God and others that he would love you forever, if you’ve never been, literally and physically backed into a corner with absolutely no way out,  then you probably have absolutely no clue how

betrayed,

devastated,

shocked,

heart-broken

and hurt this woman feels.

 

If a woman has been beaten down, physically or emotionally, and she is brave enough to seek help,

applaud her,

go to her,

pray for her and with her,

and help her,

because, most likely, she has absolutely no idea what she is going to do next.

 

Her fear and confusion will be even more evident, more overwhelming, more devastating to her if she has children. Remember that and love her and

love her children, also.

Comfort them,

guide them,

listen to them,

let them know that someone cares

even if their daddy doesn’t.

 

Emotional abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse and sexual abuse of wives is real and far more common than most folks realize. It happens even in what others perceive to be “Christian” families. Even if the abuse is just aimed at the wife, the children will still be injured from the fallout. Frequently, though, it isn’t just fallout that hurts them; abusers of wives often go on to become abusers of children, too. Often abuse  doesn’t stop with just words. If a man will break his wife with his words, many times, he will manifest force against her somehow, someway, sometime. It just might bleed out to the children, also.

 

This kind of abuse isn’t the wife’s fault. It isn’t the children’s fault. No one deserves to be hurt like this. If you know about it, consider that perhaps God has put you here with her and has prepared you for such a time as this. If so, you have an obligation to

pray,

to love,

to counsel the man if God presents you with the opportunity,

to counsel her as she tries to rebuild her life

and the lives of her children,

to listen

and listen again and again,

to cry with her,

to protect

to defend

to get her to safety

and to help her start over.

 

When it is over, when she has taken the step to protect her and her children that she never dreamed that she would ever have to take, remember that

her dreams are gone, help her to dream new ones;

her life is shattered, help her to build it again;

her children need love and guidance, see yourself as part of their healing

and always, always pray for her.

 

Re-conditioning In Light Of Scripture by Anna Wood

Abusive husbands (or abusive wives) condition their spouses to accept responsibility for their abuse of them. “If you didn’t do this….” or “If only you didn’t say that….” or “If you hadn’t said it that way. You don’t know how you sounded….” or “It’s your fault for…. You make me so angry.” When the wife (or the husband) “owns up to it” they are “rewarded” with peace for a time (most likely a very short time).

This hard-won “peace” isn’t really peace at all and will go away more rapidly than anyone outside of the abuse could even begin to imagine.

If this describes you and your relationship with your spouse, please understand a few things:

The way he is acting isn’t right. His behavior is sin. He is the one to blame…not you.

God isn’t on the side of your abuser no matter how many times he has told you that He is.

Your abuser may use Scripture to justify their behavior, their abuse of you, but he is twisting it. His interpretation of the verses he uses are false and will not stand up in light of good exegesis (interpretation of the text).

It isn’t your fault your husband verbally, emotionally, financially, sexually or physically abused you. You didn’t make him do it, no matter how many times or ways he tells you that you did. You don’t deserve it no matter how often he tells you that you do.

Your husband has no right to punish you. He has no right to spank you, ground you, hit you, limit your freedom, yell at you, humiliate you.

You are deserving of your husbands love, care and respect.

You are responsible only for your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, emotions and responses. Your husband is responsible for his.

God’s Word is truth. God’s truth is that what your spouse is doing is wrong.

Your husband will only change when he comes to God in repentance. Nothing outside of God can completely change him or free him from the sinner that he is and the sin that he commits.

God can change you when you come to Him in repentance (for we all are sinners). When He changes you, He will point you in a new, and freeing, direction. He will also give you salvation through the blood of Christ.

The woman who sees herself in light of God’s Word will know that, while she was in her sins she was deserving of God’s wrath, she did not ever, will not ever, deserve abuse, wrath or attacks from those who claim to love her.

You can be reconditioned to see yourself in a new way. You can have freedom from abuse when you understand that the abuse, no matter what kind or how severe (even if you don’t see it as severe, it is), is sin and you aren’t to allow it to continue.

There is help available. Please, please reach for it…today.

 

When A Woman Is Abused by Anna Wood

If a Christian woman is abused by her husband, whether the abuse is emotional, physical, spiritual or sexual, it isn’t because

she hasn’t tried hard enough,

she didn’t love him enough,

she didn’t spend enough time in prayer for her husband

and for their marriage,

that she didn’t study the Word

or didn’t believe the Word

or didn’t try to obey the Word with everything within her.

If she gets to the point where she is thinking about separating from her husband, or even divorcing him, after many hours of prayer and many hours of Bible study and more tears than you could ever even begin to imagine, it doesn’t necessarily follow that

she never loved him,

she is a feminist,

that she wants to be separated or divorced,

that she doesn’t believe in biblical womanhood,

that she didn’t long for a traditional marriage,

that she didn’t try hard enough to be a good wife,

that she isn’t a good Christian.

If you should happen to meet a woman like this, you will probably think that she is

distant,

cold,

self-involved,

shy.

Most likely this is because she is

shattered,

broken,

alone

and confused.

If you have never walked in her steps, if you’ve never heard the words designed to destroy you coming from the mouth of the one who swore before God and others that he would love you forever, if you’ve never been, literally and physically backed into a corner with absolutely no way out,  then you probably have absolutely no clue how

betrayed,

devastated,

shocked,

heart-broken

and hurt this woman feels.

If a woman has been beaten down, physically or emotionally, and she is brave enough to seek help,

applaud her,

go to her,

pray for her and with her,

and help her,

because, most likely, she has absolutely no idea what she is going to do next.

Her fear and confusion will be even more evident, more overwhelming, more devastating to her if she has children. Remember that and love her and

love her children, also.

Comfort them,

guide them,

listen to them,

let them know that someone cares

even if their daddy doesn’t.

Emotional abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse and sexual abuse of wives is real and far more common than most folks realize. It happens even in what others perceive to be “Christian” families. Even if the abuse is just aimed at the wife, the children will still be injured from the fallout. Frequently, though, it isn’t just fallout that hurts them; abusers of wives often go on to become abusers of children, too. Often abuse  doesn’t stop with just words. If a man will break his wife with his words, many times, he will manifest force against her somehow, someway, sometime. It just might bleed out to the children, also.

This kind of abuse isn’t the wife’s fault. It isn’t the children’s fault. No one deserves to be hurt like this. If you know about it, consider that perhaps God has put you here with her and has prepared you for such a time as this. If so, you have an obligation to

pray,

to love,

to counsel the man if God presents you with the opportunity,

to counsel her as she tries to rebuild her life

and the lives of her children,

to listen

and listen again and again,

to cry with her,

to protect

and to defend.

When it is over, when she has taken the step to protect her and her children that she never dreamed that she would ever have to take, remember that

her dreams are gone, help her to dream new ones;

her life is shattered, help her to build it again;

her children need love and guidance, see yourself as part of their healing.

by Anna Wood

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By Anna Wood, The Cross Is All @ http://annawood.wordpress.com/
Copyright © At the end of myself…at the feet of Jesus

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