At the end of myself…at the feet of Jesus

Matthew 25: 40, And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Alone Except for God

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One of the hardest things for an emotionally abused women to deal with is the everydayness of living. All around her are people who get up and do what needs to be done and do so while surrounded by those who love and support them. She has to get up and get stuff done, too, but she must do so with no support and, often, with no clue how to right the many wrongs that makes up the daily life of herself and her children. What is so simple for others often threatens to overwhelm her.

Unlike her sisters who are physically abused, few, if any, others know what she is going through. There are no scars to cover, no bruises to hide under makeup. There is only a broken heart, a crushed spirit, a life dwindling down to nothingness as she tries, step-by-weary-step, to make sense of it all.

Some days tears come unbidden, time and again, as if they will never end. Other days, she feels numb, dead inside, and no matter what happens, no matter how her abuser tries to hurt her, there are no tears left to be cried.

Often sadness threatens to overwhelm her: the loss of the love she’s never known seeps deep inside her and flows out in aching ways.

She hurts daily for her children: for what they haven’t had and for what they have had to endure. Sadness threatens to drown her as their pain mixes with her own and flows into black. If not for God, she couldn’t hold on another second.

Each day begins, each day ends and she endures through it all.

Everyday she will face the sunrise with a tiny, torn, shred of hope that perhaps today something might change. Perhaps her abuser will change (though somewhere inside she knows he won’t); and, perhaps, if he won’t, she will. Perhaps today her broken heart will begin to mend. Perhaps her children won’t ache as much. Perhaps she might, with God’s help, begin to make sense of it all and have some clue…some tiny little clue…as what to do next with the brokenness of life.

When each new sunrise comes she will get up, she will pray, and, because of her love for her children, she will try harder than anyone could possibly imagine, harder than most will ever have to try. And she will do it all unseen, unknown and alone…except for God.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can learn the signs of abuse. We can learn to listen, learn to weep, learn to serve. We can be there for her and for her children. We can but we probably won’t. Because we probably won’t, these women, our sisters, will continue to endure unimaginable heartache, continue to try harder than we can imagine ever having to try, continue to lean on God alone. And, one day, because we didn’t do what we could have done, we will stand before our Lord and have to answer to Him for our failure.

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Author: annagracewood

Slave of Christ. Reformed Baptist. Mama of many blessings. Homemaker. Homeschooler. Author. Blogger. I write about practical Christian living, womanhood, and domestic violence awareness (with a few other topics thrown in). Passionate about Christ's glory, my children, homemaking, writing, the church, helping those in abusive situations, reading, and animals. Lover of good coffee.

9 thoughts on “Alone Except for God

  1. I read part of this post on Ida Mae’s… and now I’m glad I read the entire thing.

    Your insight and words shared are so powerful.

    Thank you so much!

    From a sister who is walking the journey with many wounds…

    • Dear Sister,

      I am so sorry to hear of your struggles and pain. I have seen your comments on Ida Mae’s blog and it’s good to see you over here. I am wondering if you’ve listened to Jeff Crippen’s sermon series on abuse? The sermons, all 21 of them, are full of truth and healing for abuse victims. The link is on the front of this blog (at the top) and also on the blog he and I maintain together, A Cry For Justice–dedicated to awakening the evangelical church to domestic violence in its midst. That blog can be found at http://cryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com/ Pastor Crippen has many wonderful articles on Crying Out For Justice that I am certain will be a help and comfort to you. He has certainly helped me. He is also willing to e-mail abuse victims if they need to talk. If you wish to talk to him contact me at thecrossisall@gmail.com Meanwhile, I’m praying for you. ~ Anna

  2. Pingback: Recommended: Anna Wood: Alone Except for God « Thoroughly Christian Divorce

  3. Reblogged this on Justification by Grace and commented:
    I truly hope provide an article very soon on the ministry of Anna Wood. There is so much that this precious saint has gone through, and so much that her sufficient Savior has been doing through her, that I doubt that an article by me will ever be comprehensive enough to share the blessing of truth that comes by Sister Anna and Pastor Jeff Crippen.

    I look forward to reading the upcoming book by Brother Jeff and Sister Anna, A CRY FOR JUSTICE.

    Some of you already read Anna’s work from her many blogs, including, “The Cross is All” (love that title). Thank you, Anna.

  4. Exactly. Well said, Anna.

  5. Reblogged this on The Master's Slave.

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