Sometimes it’s easier to lie to ourselves than it is to tell ourselves the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts so much that, no matter how much we need to, we don’t want to face it. That’s pretty much the way I’ve lived much of my life.
Facing the truth about our lives is easy to do when our lives are going well, our family can be trusted, there are few bumps and even fewer mountains. Facing the truth about our lives when we have lived almost entirely in the valley of pain is another thing altogether.
It hurts to acknowledge the truth that your father was an abusive alcoholic and your mother was otherwise abusive.
It hurts to admit that your marriage has been anything but normal.
It hurts to admit that, because of the pain that has defined your family life, some of your children follow the abuser.
It hurts to admit that you’ve listened to all of the lies, all of the garbage spewed at you and you’ve swallowed it all.
It hurts but it’s necessary if healing is to ever take place.
Bit by bit, little by little, I’ve learned to tell myself the truth. It still hurts but it’s getting better.
I’ve learned to replace the lies I’ve been told for so long with the real Truth. The Truth that God is my real Father. That when others abandon and abuse, He takes me up. He protects, He defends, He loves.
God loves me. We teach our children to sing it but, for abuse victims, it’s a hard truth to learn. But it’s also one of the most important truths to learn. Little by little I am learning it. Now I’m telling it to you.
If you are an abused woman, if you’ve been cast aside, castigated, lied about, ignored and had venom spewed upon you turn to God. He really is love. He really is there. He really does care. He really will take you up.