At the end of myself…at the feet of Jesus

Matthew 25: 40, And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Church, Will You Not Care?


There are many like me, women whose men have, through their abuse, torn the very fabric of their lives to shreds. There’s no organic wholeness to our lives, just a grasping terror due to trying desperately to hold on. There’s no plan for the future, no stability to plan one, just a prayer to make it through this one minute. Over and over again, this one minute lived takes us places we’re both afraid to face and hungry to embrace. Maybe it will bring the change, the hopeful future, we long for. More likely, it will bring more of the same deadness, full of fear and confusion, that has haunted our lives for years.

This is the life of an abused woman. As fear grows, hope diminishes until she is afraid to hope. Too much disappointment is a destroyer, a killer of dreams. As the blows from her husband intensify, be they verbal or physical, she retreats further inside herself, afraid even to look up lest she make him angry. It’s no different if the abused wife is a Christian. The life she lives, she lives alone. Afraid both of the consequences she’ll face at home for reaching out to others and of others reactions should they find out the secrets of her life, she hunkers down and cries out at the foot of the cross.

Does God see her? Does He care for her pain, for the pain of her children? Does He want her to stay? Will He enable her to leave? How can she provide for them? How can she protect her babies? How can she make it through another minute, let alone another day? Thoughts and prayers, hope and fears, bump against one another during the crawling fearful minutes of her day. In the late night hours they mix and mingle, twisting crazily into one another, giving her yet another night of fitful sleep and terror-filled dreams.

You wouldn’t know by the responses of the church that God cares. They are more willing to ignore such a woman than to get involved. Time and time again, an abused woman’s story is told; time and again, her story is ignored or disbelieved by those who claim the name of Christ. Refusal to listen, to help, to get involved crosses all denominational lines. If advice is given, it’s usually bad. “Go back home, serve him, keep praying and know that you are suffering for Christ” seems to be the most widely used piece of junk advice Christians have to offer. Junk because in that one sentence, they are both linking Christ to her abuse and excusing themselves from having to extend any effort to help her.

But her pain remains. The tears keep on falling. And, for now as in the past, most churches keeps right on failing abused women and their children.

Church, do you see our tears? Do you not care for our wounded hearts? We are mourning, will you not embrace us? Will you not care? Do you not remember that the same God who told you to rejoice with those who rejoice also said to weep with those who weep? We are weeping, we wives of men who abuse and misuse us, will you not join us? Will you not weep with us? Will you not weep for our children? Will you not be Jesus’s hands to us, gently wiping away our tears? We are your daughters, your sisters, your friends. One in four women, women you know, are weeping, reeling from the pain caused by their man. Will you not help us?


6 thoughts on “Church, Will You Not Care?

  1. It ain’t deleted, mate. I’m still ‘ere! I had written about what happens here every single day:

    I felt like I was coming apart. At the moment, I’m a bit better, but this world and its ways are a struggle. We must never give up. I took that last statement in one of today’s posts:

    Snuggle in and have a read when you fancy, and if you want more, it’s:

    Love in Christ Jesus, Jen xx

  2. Our cries always need to be heard and helped…. Hopefully, someone will help the ones who want to get out of their abuse.
    I am a Survivor and my abuser was in the church and he was not only the pastor but, was my husband.
    Thank God! I was very fortunate to have a Family who cared and care about me and helped my children and me to get out of that abusive situation.
    My Mother was great in helping me to start over. I am happy in my life. The song “Deceived” that I wrote was about my life story.

    Words to the song are: “Deceived” by Debbie Price, copyright, 1993.

    When I was young I dreamed of love and romance and a life with my handsome prince. I had such hope of love and sharing my life with you. I dreamed we’d would walk together hand in hand, but you walked all over me you walked all over me.

    Why did you deceived me and make me believe that you cared for me? Why did you deceived me and make me believe that you loved me that you loved me. I was so blind I was so blind to believe that you were mine.

    I gave you my heart with all my love and you stole my soul you made me feel that I would never be whole. You took my youth my dignity, you stifled me. I lost all feeling to be free. I lost all feeling to be me.
    Then the Chorus again “Why did you deceive me and make me believe that you cared for me…

    My song is Free and Please share.
    Thank You,

    • Hello Debbie, Thanks for coming by. Your song is such a blessing. I’m so happy you had help escaping. Sadly, most women in abusive situations don’t. How are you doing today? It’s good to hear from you again. Take care, Anna 🙂

  3. I care, Sister. Fat lot of good that is, though. We both live thousands of miles apart. I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams, too. Didja read my latest?

    God help us. Not a platitude, either. God forbid. I really, REALLY wish He would; leading us in the correct way.

    • I couldn’t find your post. When I tried, it said your blog had been deleted. 😦 Do you have a link? I hear your pain. I understand it and share it. We must keep our eyes on the Lord rather than on the waves as they crash around us. Peter sank, not because of the waves but because he took his eyes off of Christ and looked at them. I’m praying for you today. {{Hugs}}

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